I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
