if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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