I can tuck mytits in my pants
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize