I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
