i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
