Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize
