I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
