he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
