They should really pass out barf bags in church
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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