just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
