I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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