I wish I could teleport
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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