He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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