What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
It's just like the Real World with babies
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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