hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
