did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
