she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
