Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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