Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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