Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Randomize
