she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize