my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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