At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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