i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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