You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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