He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
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