When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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