I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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