i barfeds in our rink
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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