sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
