I wanna bring you to show and tell
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
