your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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