wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize