Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
