the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
