Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
