He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
