She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
