ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
