We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize