if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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