I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I love you. Go after that dick
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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