haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
id be glad to
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
