Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
