What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
