I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Are we still banned from the library?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
