I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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