therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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