Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
babies were throwing up all over the place
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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