Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
