Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
