Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
