he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
