There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Randomize
