Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
