Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Randomize
