I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
