We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize