She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
