in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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