I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
