Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize