ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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